This Beautiful Mess

I've recently balanced my grown-up life with my unemployment life. In my grown-up life I had no time to go out, to see my friends, or even to read a good book. With this short 4 day break I've gotten a combination of all the previously mentioned things done.

So, this reading this is nice. It puts me at ease, mostly because I read books by Donald Miller and Rick McKinley. Donald Miller always gets me thinking and this more recent book that I've opened by Rick McKinley, This Beautiful Mess has just made me feel very relaxed. At the end of some of the chapters he's placed some poetry. I'm not much of a poetry person, mainly because I just hated the literature I read in college. My professors can shove all of it up their asses, but that wasn't the point. The point was to share the poem with a few people that happen upon this.

Ahab's Song

in the dirt i used to kneel
idols fixed upon vain hopes
blocks of wood brought down with weight of prayers spilled
but you came and stole my heart
now i pray to ears unstopped
i am watched over by eyes i can't outrun

you are God alone
lesser gods before you scatter
to the winds like sand
for you, the God i love
i lay down my broken iodls
following your steps

i can feel upon my skin
that your tears have met with mine
and the earth around me shakes with your resolve
all my hope in you i find
all my heart like water poured
what is one more drop in hands that frame the world?

---Vania Brandly

Keeping the Dream Alive

The holiday season has seemed to blow in very quickly. I'm rather shocked that half a year of being a grown-up has come and gone so fast. I've applied for so many jobs and landed one. One of all the many I've applied for. One that isn't even that great. But, my future does look promising.

Monday afternoon I got a phone call from an insurance agency based in Wisconsin with offices in San Antonio. I applied for this job weeks before I applied for the one I have now. The recruiter wants to speak with me over the phone early next week. I'll just have to see how that pans out. I did also apply for that job internally. But, again, it is another one of those, "you need X amount of experience and X amount of ass kissing," to land the job. To add to that I know for a fact a guy that is currently working to rework the orders is for sure applying for it. Since he's already above me, he may be shoe in for on of the spots.

Whatever the case may be, I'm still keepin' the dream alive. California, hopefully, here I come!

Two months later

There's a wall in the middle of my office. On this wall my managers put up printed powerpoint slides about new job postings, holidays, and extra incentives. The holidays and the incentives don't really entice me to do much better. I get to work every day at least fifteen minutes early, get back from lunch about five minutes early and leave the office when we're supposed to leave. I may, occasionally, check out mentally about an hour early, but all around I'm about 95%. That's a lot more then I can say about a lot of people I work with. But, that is the real world.

So, these job postings are interesting. The main man has recently mentioned that they will be hiring six new "senior" members to do some extra things. These things include, training, monitoring, and reworking the orders we take. It would be amazing to at least have a chance at these positions after only two months at this place. Even getting an interview would be good. It would be a great opportunity. The number one job would allow me to go to California for a week to learn how to train the program I'm working on. California? Oh my! I haven't even been on a plane since I was 14!

Thinking about these things is all well and good, it's much like the jobs I applied for before landing this one; they probably require X years of experience and X years of supervisory experience, but who's to say that I can't at least let them know I want to be at that position when I'm already within the company? I'll get everything taken care of on Monday. After taking some deep breathes I'll ask that annoying girl at the HR desk if I can apply for the "Senior Sales Associate" position.

Some exercise

While I won't say I have the best job in the world and I won't say I have the worst job in the world, it gets me through the day and I get my bosses through the day. The big big bosses were in town from California recently checking up so my bosses rode their high horses today encouraging high volume everything. That didn't bode too well with lots of people. I understood and dealt with it. I'm an easy going person and had one of the best days since I've been working. That's good news, isn't it?

Well, after work I took the walk "up the hill" to where my car is parked. I thought about how my day went, what my co-workers were thinking, and finally how great the exercise was. The car was parked really far away!

Getting in the swing of things.....or so I thought

Just as I thought I had come to understand most of the people I work with, to a degree, some of them have decided to disappear on me. It's not as if they are literally part of my life, but it was nice seeing the same people day in and day out.

The job we have been doing isn't the easiest. It's rather a pain in the ass. And I understand why the people are leaving. The people that are leaving though, shock me. It's all people that I mentioned good things about in those Training Room entries and thought had the same type of outlook on life as me. It was the type of outlook on life where, "Hey, this is a job, I'll stick with it now, but hope for something better, soon." Well, I guess their soon was sooner then mine is.

Anyway. So, there's a lot of people missing. And I'm starting to get in the swing of things. It's kind of fun knowing that I am doing things right and getting things together. We'll just have to see how things are go and hope that something comes along that may be better then what I am doing now.

Tales of a Recylced Post-It

When I arrived at my desk for the first time about three days ago it was sparsely populated. There was a computer, a mouse pad (with mouse), and several sporadic notes directed towards those that were already working. Since I've been there my desk has been overrun with notes I will never use, because I am not going to get into touch with people who have these products, a few pictures of friends, kids from my previous job, and some girley office supplies.

I also introduced index cards into the line-up. Index cards worked well, unitl I realized that I could go through a good pack of 100 a day if I was working the way the management wanted me to. That's why, this weekend I went to the grocery store and stood in front of the office supply aisle for a good twenty minutes deciding which supplies to pick-up. School aged children and adults who have their jobs down to a science came and went while I picked up index cards, small post-its, big post-its, bright post its, small post-its, big notebooks, closed notebooks, open notebooks, small notebooks, and even a variety of dry erase boards. In the end I chose a variety of medium sized post-its that I could write large things on and could put all over my desk.

This all over my desk thing was fun for the first few hours of the day until I realized I have about 10 call backs to make. So, the post-its moved their way over to picture section of my desk in a timely fashion, earliest in the front, latest in the back. Post-its that would not be receiving a phone call in return were turned over and recycled.

I thought this recycling thing would work. Throughout school it was always a good thing to take notes. Well. apparently it really isn't in the real world, because the only successful part of the day was when I didn't take notes on those recycled post-its. But, as I've heard so many people say, "It is what it is."

A Blockbuster Day

Today was like my second first day at my office. We got everything set up with the computers and started doing whatever it is that we do. It was a combination of nerves, excitement, and anxiety. I put my training to use. Excitement! I know more people were able to use their product knowledge, but I used my computer knowledge over their product knowledge. This was all before lunch. I was mesmerized during the morning. Pointing, clicking, and doing my thing. It was awesome, even if I didn't "sell anything."

During lunch I spoke to some people who were as frustrated with our training practices as I was. There was no way to actually sell anything and it was just getting ridiculous. So, after getting frustrated, internally, I took everything into my own hands. I blew everyone away, I ran around looking for the right person to help me put together some of the order I did get, and racked up some of the biggest "points" of the day for our training group. I about shot through the roof of the three story building I was so excited. It was the only person I spoke to that day.

Oh my gosh. Great. So, for getting that thing put together I'm just ecstatic. So happy that one of the managers comes up to me and gives me a Blockbuster gift card. So, it literally was a "blockbuster day." hahaha. Bet you didn't see that coming!