The Post Unemployment Paycheck

I was paid for the first time on Friday. I wasn't as stoked as some of the younger people I work with who ripped open their checks to see how much money they were going to be cashing at the big white cash van across the street. While I patiently planned out my weekend, I thought about the people who haven't seen since high school or even just since May who may not be getting paid $10 an hour for sitting around for 8 hours a day to listen to random telecommunications product information. All this thinking was going on while someone was presenting new product information I should have been taking notes about.

Well, anyway. Back to the point. After plotting out the spending of this lowly check, I only spent some of it on shoes and clothing. I went out for dinner as well, just to some little place down the street where I knew the server from high school. This server was a big jerk. He was beyond the legal adult limit of sarcastic and mean. So, the last time I saw this server he said he was sorry for being a jerk and everything was fine. So, I saw him earlier tonight and he asked if I was still in school. He must have remembered I was at least in school the last time I was there to even ask. I answered him and he replied with something like, "Yeah, I graduated too, and I'm working here....but some insurance company just called me." So I sighed loudly to indicate that disappointment with both of our situations and smiled. Overall it was a five second encounter, but it let me know that not everyone I know has ended up in a place that reflects their personal strengths or abilities. That's something I really needed to know, and I'm thankful for.

A Chill Pill

I've learned some things from these training seasons. Some of the most important things I've learned from this boy that can only be characterized as a 12 year old in 21 year old's body. This person is constantly on the go, he can't stand still and has to have the last word. He gets upset when he doesn't win an argument and has to be the center of attention. If he's not he's asleep, annoying the person next to him or sipping on a small cup of instant coffee found in the second floor break room.

I honestly have gotten to the point with this character in the Training Room reality TV show that I've just rolled my eyes and moved on. I get an occasional chuckle out of him, but I don't let anyone else know. He reminds me of all the pain in the butt kids that so many of my fellow interns had to work with over this summer. If it was appropriate I would tell my Trainer some of these stories and let him know that it's okay and that it will be over soon. This situation has gotten to my Trainer a few times and he's gotten frustrated and told this guy to leave.

If I could say anything about this situation, though, I would say to everyone, "Take a chill pill, we only have 32 hours before we start our real jobs."

Oh dear God, only 32 hours until I'm responsible for a little cube, a computer, and customers, on a daily basis. All in business clothing.

Training Room: Episode 2-5

After the first two episode, a twist was thrown in. Four new cast members joined the current cast. If I had sound effects I would play them. They're all from a previous and closing project on the same floor we will be using once we all get down there. Well, wait, there's another guy from the last class as well, so five actually. The dynamics of the class were somewhat altered, but not drastically. These new cast members were awkward in the beginning, but now, nearly a week into the classes, I can say they are about as part of the cast as the rest of us. We have voted off one member of the cast. He never returned after falling asleep and being sick for three days. I didn't much care for him. It may have been the way I edited my show, but he was obnoxious and I wanted to shoot him in his face.

These new cast members, except for one, are girls. I guess this is a good thing, it will help me get my game face on once I start actually working. I'm still a bit worried about the actual job. However, having nearly 2 weeks of product training kind of makes you a little bit more comfortable with nearly 100 years worth of history for the company. That's no lie. Two of these girls can't keep their pheromones to themselves and I bet all my readers my first paycheck that they have at least had a drink with four of my male co-workers since they joined us. Another one of the new members is a hoot. She's funny and makes me more comfortable. The other I don't much care for, yet, but she does ask good questions. That's always good. Our final new addition is missing two fingers and parks his car illegally.

So, as I embark on my second week into this giant world I have learned that eating eating at the same place across the street from my place of employment isn't as bad as I thought, reading during lunch is probably close to impossible when you eat outside, and to bring a sweater. I also am a math whiz in the real world. That was the most important thing. It was amazing.

Training Room: Episode 1

If my training class was a reality tv show there would be about 20 contestants with a few memorable characters to start out the show. A few you would want to kick out right away because they just don't shut up, laugh at the trainer's god awful jokes or just smell bad. Other's are cute, have a bit of personality, aren't overbearing and just say enough to get noticed. Then there are the few that fall into the untouchables, the ones that make no impact, don't talk, and just are kind of blah. When they show up on the first day the rest of the cast is like "What do they bring to the show? I can't wait to vote them off the island...or to ally with them to vote off that annoying one who laughs at all the jokes." Well, we'll just have to see who makes it through the two and a half weeks of training and who doesn't.

A hiatus of sorts

Merriam-Webster's online dictionary defines hiatus as

Main Entry: hi·a·tus
Pronunciation: hI-'A-t&s
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin, from hiare to yawn -- more at YAWN
1 a : a break in or as if in a material object : GAP hiatus between the theory and the practice of the party -- J. G. Colton> b : a gap or passage in an anatomical part or organ
2 a : an interruption in time or continuity : BREAK; especially : a period when something (as a program or activity) is suspended or interrupted hiatus from writing> b : the occurrence of two vowel sounds without pause or intervening consonantal sound

For this entry I'm going to use hiatus as defined in 2a.

The job fair event of a few weeks ago, as painful as it was, did turn out well. I filled out an application online and received a phone call from the company a few days later. A non-solicited phone call, nonetheless. This all coming after the recruiter specifically said, "Call us, don't wait for us to call you." Anyway. I went in to this very business like building only about 10 minutes away from home after waking up way too late on Friday and was hired for some job I would never consider doing ever before by 5 pm that evening. I'll be selling telecommunication services for $10 an hour plus commission starting next Monday.

As I got off the phone with the man from HR who helped me get the job at this place, I thought I can take a break from being unemployed, something like an actor does while in between taping seasons, a hiatus while I look for something that is more geared towards what I really want to do.

Little children in a yellow house

There's this place off the beaten path where I live that kids go to play. Obviously they have to be supervised. Who's going to supervise them? Someone who wants to, and someone this place off the beaten path will hire.

This place off the beaten path was at the job fair I went to and I just filled out the application for the heck of it. I got a phone call from this place that can only be characterized as a big yellow house off the beaten path where the kids play for an interview. It was more of a screening process. I was asked a few questions, but all went well and I have a follow-up interview in about 10 hours. I hope all goes well. I could be watching the kids play, all day, for pay (how lame!).

I also came across another posting on craigslist for a development position at an animal shelter, also close to where I live. I sent them a note saying I was going to send everything in to them later in the week. They probably won't return my e-mail, which is fine, but working with dogs and cats would be a lot of fun.

So, while I'm writing this I'm thinking of the children that go to this yellow house on a daily basis. What kind of people do they like? Would they like me? But, most importantly, would the people who hire me like me? We'' just have to save those thoughts for tomorrow.

Apples and Bananas

Have you heard that song called "Apples and Bananas"? It goes something like this:

 I like to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas
 I like to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas

 I like to ate, ate, ate ay-ples and ba-nay-nays
 I like to ate, ate, ate ay-ples and ba-nay-nays

 I like to eat, eat, eat ee-ples and bee-nee-nees
 I like to eat, eat, eat ee-ples and bee-nee-nees

 I like to ite, ite, ite i-ples and by-ny-nys
 I like to ite, ite, ite i-ples and by-ny-nys

 I like to ote, ote, ote oh-ples and bo-no-nos
 I like to ote, ote, ote oh-ples and bo-no-nos

 I like to oot, oot, oot oo-ples and boo-noo-noos
 I like to oot, oot, oot oo-ples and boo-noo-noos 

And my life kind of feels like that. I like doing the same thing, just in a different way. After last week's adventures I went back to what I'm used to, looking online for things to do, apples and bananas. There were different ways of doing it though. I went to different websites and used different keywords. I applied for nearly 6 jobs and hopefully will hear from at least one of them. I even went out of my way to look for one in Phoenix. With family there it would make for a good change, but nothing too drastic. Looking at things with these different keywords and phrases was kind of like the oopples and bononos.

It was refreshing for a few minutes. I thought it may be the right move, but then reality set in and I realized that I'm allergic to apples and bananas make me poop. It just hasn't worked for me in the past. But, people grow out of allergies and grow accustomed to fiber, right? So it's worth a try.