That lying bitch!

This weekend I took the initiative and dug through the newspaper for job fairs/lame jobs I could handle. I ended up going to a job fair about five minutes away from my house. The perk was that it was about five minutes away from my house, and that was about it. I got all dolled up and went over the hills and through the woods to this place we shall call Boring Insurance Company (BIC).

Well, BIC's job fair was basically shuffle the applicants in and out, fill out an application online at the site and schedule an "assessment" for a later date. There were so many damn people there that they told us to fill out the application at home. So, I procrastinated a lot and filled it out about an hour ago. Woohoo! Yet another online application.

So, online applications are fun. You can be whoever you want on your application. Anyone you want. You can be Mother flippin' Teresa or Paris mother fucking Hilton ... if you know how to answer the questions right. Since I did get a degree in psychology I decided at the start of the job hunt that I better not lie on these things because tests catch liars. But, now it seems like liars get farther ahead in life then people that don't lie. Based on this conclusion, I decided to lie during the BIC application process. I was all psyched up to lie on their personality section, but turns out I can't even pick the right questions to lie on. I suck at life, apparently. The question was, "How long was your longest job?" Yeah, I can't even lie about that. So, damn! When I clicked the continue button the nice little screen that is the equivalent to "It was nice meeting you," came up. I just about cried. First, you make me sit around in shoes that give me blisters for two hours and then tell me I don't qualify for a job because I haven't held a job for a year because I just graduated from college? Eat shit. On to the next job.

At least I have a tiny bit of a chance at an AmeriCorp position at a non-profit downtown. Good lord, please call me back.

While I was stewing my wonderfulness that was the BIC experiment this weekend I got a hold of this amazing quiz, the ICI American Civics Quiz. It was fun, and I think everyone should take it. It made me feel like an even more of a failure. And I couldn't lie.

I think the moral of this story is that I cannot tell a lie and that even when I try to tell a lie I fail. So, if there is someone who wants to hire someone who is a new graduate and honest, I'm out there.